Hi, welcome to 'Adopt An Angel'. What can I do for you today?
Hi. Uh, my brother and I, we sort of have a bit of a dangerous lifestyle. We thought that maybe, if we had an angel to watch over us or something, it might be kinda useful.
That's wonderful. What sort of angel were you looking for?
Uh, like a guardian angel?
They're all guardians. What qualities do you want in an angel?
One that listens to us.
Right. A good one.
One that is able to heal us.
Nothing too flashy.
Yeah, we really don't need an angel to show us up.
Just your average, run-of-the-mill, guardian angel, maybe with a little bit of an inferiority complex so that it likes us enough to put our needs first.
Male or female?
If there's an option-
Don't even think about it.
I'm the tall one.
But if this angel is tall, he can intimidate our enemies.
Oh, you don't have to worry about that. Each angel comes equipped with a set of wings to intimidate any enemies you may have.
Oh, well, in that case, make him shorter than both of us.
Exactly. Because we're the two muscular, tall guys. We run the show.
Dude, it's a metaphor.
Well, I think I have just the angel you're looking for. This one right here...
That's right. His name is Castiel.
His clothes are so...
I was gonna say 'holy tax account' but not-plaid works. I suppose if we were to adopt him, we can make it wear whatever we want, right?
Uh, no. This one is a bit like a Legoman. The clothes don't come off unless you take off his head. You don't plan on doing that, do you?
Can angels become vampires?
We don't plan on cutting off his head.
Good. Our job here at Adopt An Angel is to give these angels a home, not a grave. Say hello, Castiel.
What the hell's wrong with his voice?
Ah. Now there's a reason for that. Human vessels have a relatively normal voice, but put an angel inside it, and that comes out.
But all the other angels sound normal.
Okay, smarty-pants, you got me. Look, I'll be honest you guys. This one here, he's broken.
Yeah, I found him in Damaged Goods.
What happened to him?
Well, his father dropped him on his head when he was a baby. It was really terrible. All the dinosaurs died.
Is there anything else you're not telling us?
Yeah. Keep this one away from other angels. He's doesn't play very well with them.
How do you mean?
He kills them. Sometimes it's an accident, sometimes it's not. Just be careful to watch over him.
Wait. I thought that was his job? To watch over us?
Like I said, this one is broken. Look, you guys ever watch Lilo and Stitch? 'Cause this angel is like Stitch. Give him a home and he'll give you his heart.
That was friggin' sappy.
He's also cheaper than health insurance.